Patricia R. Hellman

On July 22, Patricia Ruth Dettwiler Hellman died peacefully in her home, surrounded by her loving family.

Patricia was born in 1940 in Wallace, Idaho to Maime and Gene Dettwiler. Along with her brother, Gary, she was raised by her aunt, Ruth McQuaide, in Clark Fork, Idaho and Spokane, Washington. In 1958, she married her soulmate, Lynn Hellman. Together, they resided in Missoula and Hamilton, where they attended St. Francis Xavier and St. Francis of Assisi churches, and made many lasting friendships. For sixty-two years, Patricia and Lynn shared a loving, ever-deepening relationship until his death in November 2020.

Patricia was blessed with many talents, even if she would never say so or claim them as such. She was an expert cook, gardener, listener, back scratcher. She loved to have long conversations and to be around other people. She loved watching sunsets and being by the ocean. She loved to knit. Her fried chicken and apple pie were legendary, not only for the care she put into preparing the food, but for the generosity she emanated as she did so. She showed us that a kitchen, a garden, a beach house, these things only matter as places to gather and enjoy one another’s company; they are sites of love and happiness.

For Patricia, family was everything. This was fortunate, considering her family’s size. She is survived by her four children, Julie Marie (Leo), Lynn Russell (Rhonda), Rebecca Ann (Tom), and Bill (Angie). She is also survived by twelve grandchildren—Ryan (Kori), Jessica (Ben), Eric (Lindsay), Jennifer (Gabe), Melissa (Ryan), Katie (Michael), Ali (Damien), Ashli (Garrett), Sean (Meghan), Brendan (Katherine), Kevin (Colleen), and Christian (Cassandra)—and twenty-four great grandchildren: Ari, Isla, Vincent, Eloise, Bennett, Everly, Korben, Marshall, Rory, Brody, Olivia, Ava, Nora, Harvey Joe, Maverick, Rocker, Sloane, Graham, Penelope, Emile, Silas, Daphne, Gwendolyn, and Noah. Another of Patricia’s gifts was to make each child, grandchild, and great grandchild feel special and cared for, even when the house was full.

Considering the prodigious love Patricia gave to all those around her (to her husband, Lynn, most of all), it is no surprise that her favorite song was Johnny Mathis’ “The Twelfth of Never,” which ends with these lines:

“I'll love you 'til the bluebells forget to bloom I'll love you 'til the clover has lost its perfume I'll love you 'til the poets run out of rhyme Until the twelfth of never, and that's a long, long time Until the twelfth of never, and that's a long, long time.”

Nana, Grandma, you taught us how to love. For that and so much more, we will love you until the twelfth of never, and that’s a long, long time.